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The Winner's Circle
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Or just general home defense. Pretty sure a burglar would want none of that.
i want one, wheres it from?
I have no idea but I found that picture and several other “inventions” that I want.
Holy f**k me too,that’s f**kin’ awesome,not even a 1000 f**ks can describe how awesome that is,WHERE CAN I F**KIN’ GET IT?!?
If you find out tell me! WANT
This is totally Awesome. I want one, or 5.
..home furnishings that have a point-!…i’m in..
where can i get one?
Someone might trip over that baseplate.
What is the assembled furnishing supposed to be anyway?
its and end table sitting beside the persons bed.
Ah, I get it now, that dark grey shape represents the bed itself!
More importantly…where can I get one?
Sometimes, things just have to have a secondary use.
Like this end table that doubles as a club & buckler.
Great for zombies and trespassers alike.
Ahh.. because Zombies are the cool thing right now…
Douchebags got to get paid somehow
-Puts on hipster glasses-
Some of were into zombies BEFORE they were cool. (like before Stephanie Meyer romanticized the only remaining monster. . . unless you count Anne Rice? Whatever I was into them before (I found) that too)
That’s a table where you can’t put something on.. Brilliant!
Well, I guess you can put something on it, but if needed, you may just push all the thing on it away and on your bed instead.
IF you are in a situation where you would need this, you would just dump you crap n the floor.
I like it for it’s novelty.
so why is it specified as zombie defense? looks like just general defense to me
It’s an occasional table! (yes, that’s a real name for end-tables.)
I dig the hell out of that. If it only went with the style of the rest of my furnishings I would buy one. If that top is made of oak it could probably even stop a .30-06, but even if it’s just pine it’ll probably stop a .357 at close range.
No….i don’t think a flimsy bit of wood would stop much at all.
You’ve never been hit with a piece of wood, have you?
You’ve never shot at a piece of wood, have you?
Real life is not like the movies. Bullets go through things.
Yes, bullets go through things. Not all bullets go through everything. That looks like a good inch and a half of solid wood. If it’s oak or another very hard wood it will stop a very small caliber bullet. And even if it doesn’t stop it outright, it will slow down the bullet enough that it is less likely to kill you.
it would take alot more than a piece of wood to stop a bullet
http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot24.htm
Oh yeah, I hate it when people rob my house with military grade sniper rifles, because they are so convenient and easy to get!
A .22 long rifle will easily penetrate that. Typical medium load .22 lr will penetrate 6″ of pine and 3″ of hardwood. A .357 will plant splinters and the bullet in your body. A 30-06 won’t even notice.
Splinters would suck though.
Why does everyone keep going on about how it can or can’t stop a bullet?
Zombies don’t have the fine motor skills to use a pistol or rifle.
They are gonna be all like Raarrrg Rarrrg Eat Ur Brainz!
A little buckler to fend off the bitey bitey zombie and a bat to whack him on the head would be totally useful in your home zombie defence plan
What? You don’t have a zombie defence plan?
Have you ever noticed that it’s much easier to get people talking about a Zombie Contingency Plan over a Social Collapse Plan? And yet they have so much in common. (Except if we’re talking nuclear, then you need to have sunscreen.) I consider it my zombie lovin’ duty to get people to talk about them so they are ready for ANY societal collapse (see above exception).
Well, If it is 2 inches thicker or more, like it looks like, it could stop a smaller hand gun. Chuck has a point, but, a .357 no. and a 30-06 no.
Now if the 357 was loaded with a poor quality hallow points yes.
Well, If it is 2 inches thicker or more, like it looks like, it could stop a smaller hand gun. Chuck has a point, but, a .357 no. and a 30-06 no.
Now if the 357 was loaded with a poor quality hallow points yes.
If that’s 1 1/2 inch or 2 inches or solid oak it’ll probably stop a .30-06 at long range. My .30-06 gets stuck in a pine 4×4 at about 500 yards. I shoot at a paper target tacked between two 4x4s, so sometime I hit one of the posts and the bullet will get stuck in it at about 500 yards. So since oak is much more dense I figure 1 1/2 inches or it will probably do the same.
But who would be shooting at you from those ranges if you are inside of your house? I don’t think there is any house with a solid 500 yards of range.
want one
Hurt Zombies?!!! Why?! You sick bastards, you, you anti-zombites.
Zombies are our friends, they are simply seeking out love and affection from a world that just threw them away, it’s not their fault we taste like chicken. Now repeat after me; Zombies are friends not just re-animated corpses mind bent on eating us all.
i can guaran-damn-TEE you that speech or one like it WILL be in a future zombie moovie.
maybe zombieland 2, that’d be cool…
I can see the ACLU forming a zombie defence strategy. Maybe changing their name to American Civil Liberties for the Undead.
Have you seen the movie “Fido”? That could work at first, but yeah, then some zombie union would form and just snowball from there.
Where can I get one of these?
screw one, i’d want three… one on beside my video game table in the living room, one by my reading chair on the other side of my living room, one by my bed.
http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/index.shtml
Safe Bedside Table. Can’t find any evidence they’re actually in production though.
I heard about using a table as an improvised weapon, but not one that can become weapons.
This is more like weapons that become an improvised table.
Awesome, I’ll take mine in battleaxe please!
yeah, a battleaxe you have to keep parallel to the ground, otherwise your blade will, at best, get stuck halfway through the z’s neck. at worst (if you’re not gimli-level kickass with a battleaxe) it’ll turn sideways in midair, smack the victim upside the face, and come off as mildly annoying.
I offer one million internetz for the first one who can name the source.
I’m not so sure about the usefulness of the buckler part. The heavy wood is difficult to maneuver and you can’t use both hands on the bat to whack somebody with it properly. If you need to block somebody, it makes more sense to have both hands on the bat and just hit their arm with the bat…
but it would take far more precision than just putting the buckler in front to take the blow, not to mention timing.
Having done fighting in the style pictured, it’s really just as easy as using two hands on the weapon. Probably easier, honestly. Swing from the hips, not the shoulders.
The shield might be useful against a sword, but then you’d be in a “I brought a small bat to a sword fight” scenario.
A shorter sword isn’t always a disadvantage – you just need to know how to get in closer than the effective range of your opponent’s sword. Someone with a two-hander is screwed if a sword-and-board-er can stay in close.
Found the table here http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/portfolio_html/sb_table.html but there isn’t any info about purchasing. Maybe it was a home project never intended for retail?
Awesome.
Not as usefull as a bedside gunrack… good luck stopping your family getting raped with that
Antoine Dodson?
I want my Gummint to defend our shores, build our roads,
conduct Foreign Policy, and coin our money. (Coin, not print.)
That’s it.
If I want Ambulance service, I’ll subscribe.
If I want my trash picked up, I’ll subscribe.
If I want water, I’ll pay to hook up to the
local co-op or drill my own well.
If I want security, I’ll buy an EBR or hire my
own guards. I don’t need/want Cops.
If I have a Civil dispute, my opponent and I
can hire a mutually agreeable Arbitrator.
If I want to retire, I’ll plan for it.
If I want to help those less fortunate than I
am, I’ll donate to a Charity of my choosing.
Etc.
“That which governs least, governs best.”
250M+ murders in the 20th Century were
committed by Gummint against civilians.
Somebody was exposed to politics before they were old enough to understand it…
Hey Libertarian..
No one gives a s**t.
You are s**tting on our fun. F**k off.
Good luck with that well drilling. Groundwater is contaminated, there is a reason city water wells are only in small contained areas. the rest of that is just silly as well.
let it go, Jefferson, the governments got control, and thats not going to change.
also, I prefer a civil-system with an acting police force
Actually, during *CIVIL* disputes, you CAN hire an Arbitrator. It’s criminal where you go up against the state.
The buckler won’t work — any impact-force will pass through it and break the arm of the wielder.
And a zombie will just bite the elbow.
Of course, since 1,000 years of sword and shield fighting has shown that shields do nothing but break your arms.
Win!!
this is what spartans use as home furniture!
Armor plate the buckler and hollow out the bat so that a sawed-off shotgun could be hidden in it, then we’re talking home defense.
i agree with reinforcing the buckler, but if we’re talking zombies, i have to point out that firearms have this nasty habit of running out of ammo… and if zombie hollywood is to be believed at all, it will happen at the worst possible time. core it with lead if it isn’t already, add spikes around the unfortunate-to-be-on end… now we’re gettin’ somewhere.
Core it with lead, and it becomes too heavy. You will tire yourself out twice as fast. Add spikes and you run the risk of it getting stuck in the zombies skull and losing your weapon.
okay granted regarding the lead, but you have to admit i have a point about firearms. if the spikes are short enough, smooth enough, and straight enough, getting stuck in a z.’s head wouldn’t be a problem. and if ash can swing around a damn chainsaw for a whole movie, i can handle a lead-lined club. the only firearm i’d have any urge to carry in a zombie movie is a desert eagle .50 w/ one bullet because if i get bitten i am DAMN well not turning.
20 zombies dislike this
This is a design by James McAdam: http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/portfolio_html/sb_table.html
What is that part on the bottom?
if i had to guess based on what i would have done had i made this, i’d say reinforcement for the buckler. that, or a base that has no other useful feature.
Or how about a shotgun loaded w/ 00 Buckshot. Really? How is a stupid little club and a little board “shield” better than having a loaded weapon next to you? This is retarded.
And someone says guns run out of ammo? Okay, then reload. Swinging a club around wouldn’t exactly last forever. Your arm would get tired. And stuff.
because reloading is instantaneous, and you’d be surprised how many people hesitate when it comes to shooting someone, most people would actually prefer the club, its less likely to be lethal, so people don’t second guess themselves
Obviously this is meant for Australians.
Gun control means we don’t have the luxury of keeping weapons and ammunition stored together, let alone outside of a bolted down safe.
Besides, this would be great for defending my family against the fortnightly or so drug-addled kangaroo intrusions everyone is hearing about these days.
Also: I think this would go great with the “Long Pointy Thing” video that failblog posted a while ago.
firstly, if you’re trying to reload a shotgun while surrounded by a million or so zombies(which, as i also mentioned, is the time you WILL run out), i’m the person who is smart enough to know, “hey, that idiot might slow down the zombies by about 1/10th of a second. maybe he’ll buy me the time to run.”
secondly, i meant “run out of ammo ENTIRELY”, not just “this specific clip.”granted, every once in a while you MIGHT find a gun shop, but that’s nothing you should trust your life to. or as an alternative, you might happen to know a dale gribble/burt gummer-type gun nut in your area who might POSSIBLY have something a little bigger than a 9mm, but assuming he’s still alive by the time you get to his place, it will be because he shoots first and verifies living/dead/undead status probably never, meaning you’d end up full of holes before you get to his welcome mat. if he isn’t alive, it’s probably because he ran out of ammo and got eaten, making his house useless for all practical purposes.
yes…..just yes im getting 1 of these for 2012 win
This was made by a dude in the U.K. (where you aren’t allowed to own firearms, and most violent deaths are from stab wounds) It is cherry, not oak, and it will stop a knife. I’d love to have one, just for the novelty of it.
sauce http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/portfolio_html/sb_table.html
1. Ban Guns
2. Watch knife deaths go up.
3. Mock Americans for having more gun deaths than you do.
OOOOOOLD SAUUUUUUUUUUCE!!
Where can I get one?
WANT…WANT one NOW
Anyone know if he’s actually selling them??
Something every home should have